Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play

 
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MessagePosté le: 01/04/2008 12:40:19    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play Répondre en citant

Druid : http://www.parrydodgespin.com/2008/04/01/valennas-guide-to-druidity/

#
As a healer, you are indispensable. You have a guaranteed spot waiting for you in every group or raid. Constantly boast complain about the endless number of requests you receive to heal for groups of complete strangers.
#
In a party — heal only the main tank as he prevents the mobs from killing you. As the only healer, you are already number one on the healing meter. Ignore healing the rest of the party, except yourself, of course. Remove the DPS from your UI. If they pull aggro, it’s not your responsibility to reward their stupidity.
#
In a raid — heal everyone. Focus on the DPS Warrior. Don’t worry about the main tank as much, someone else will take care of it. As you are no longer the only healer, prove your unquestionable worth by healing the DPS Warrior to your #1 spot on the healing meter.
#
Ignore every other aspect of your class. You’re a healer. If you wanted to CC, you’d have made a Mage. If you wanted to do damage, you’d have made a … Mage. If you wanted to Remove Curse, you’d have made a … you get the idea.
#
Healing meters are more important than everything — except loot. Remember you can only feel useful if you’re #1 on the healing meter.
#
If you’re not #1 on the healing meter, #1 cheated and rolled a Shaman. Or a Paladin. Or this fight is obviously biased against HoT-based healing.
#
Never use a mana potion. That’s why Elune gave you Innervate. And never, ever, under any circumstance use your Innervate on another player. Also, remember that non-Restoration Druids don’t need their Innervate and ensure you ask for theirs before they use it for something foolish, like themselves.
#
Complain about the lack of out of combat resurrection. It really isn’t good enough that Druids can do everything else. We just aren’t complete without it.
#
If you manage to get aggro from healing, there’s nothing you can do about it. Immediately stop healing — panic, scream over Vent, and run in wide circles.
#
Play down your class’ dominance in PvP. Ignore the fact that it is merely a current design quirk of your spec/class/gear that allows you to do so. Bemoan the nerfing of this clearly (unadmittedly) overpowered ability.
#
Healing is EASY. And it only gets easier with alcohol.
#
Save your Rebirth. It’s expensive and not really useful as you can’t use it out of combat. If you do use it, use it on the first person who dies even if you know they’ll die three seconds later. Remember it’s the thought that counts.
#
Always act like healing is the most stressful thing you’ve ever done in your life. Let them come close to dying just to remind them that you hold their lives in your branches, and it is only by your grace and mercy that you allow them to advance in the game.
#
While it may seem contrary to #13, you should encourage everyone to use healing potions, healthstones and even bandages. This is mostly just to stress how great your healing is and how important you are. Plus, this gives you a little more time to take a sip of wine.
#
Don’t concern yourself with your facing or where you should stand. You only have to worry about keeping the bars full. If you die, it’s definitely someone else’s fault.
#
Shadow Priests in the Mage group don’t help keep the raid alive. Your Shadow Priest pet is your ticket to endless mana. Yes, I know his Shadowfiend only helps the Shadow Priest. By "pet", I was referring to the Shadow Priest.
#
Lifebloom. Lifebloom. Lifebloom. You don’t need anything else.
#
Roll on every piece of loot; after all, one of your four different roles might be able to use it. If it is mail or plate or a weapon you can’t use, take it to compensate for all of your reagent costs. If it is cloth, bemoan that they never make anything as useful in a leather version. And roll on it anyway.
#
Lament endlessly that you can’t view your beautifully dressed avatar in your Tree Form and that Tree Form looks the same regardless of your gear.
#
Pretend that you have sympathy for the lack of model changes for ferals and moonkin, but as you’ll never use those forms you really shouldn’t care all that much.
#
You should always have priority on every piece of loot. Those specialist classes are too rigid and lack your versatility. By ensuring you have the ability to fill any role, your guild will be prepared for any event. The fact that you never intend to change your build or do anything else other than Restoration doesn’t change the fact that you could — if you wanted.
#
Expect a nerf in every patch. Threaten to reroll even if it only affects PvP or ferals. If you do it enough, Blizzard will roll it back. Works every time.
#
Cast Mark of the Wild because if you don’t you’ll look like you’re slacking, not because you want to. It’s completely useless compared to every other buff, but players do enjoy its purpley glow. Don’t waste your money using [Wild Quillvine] to save time or extend the casting time. Plus, this way you look frugal and focused!
#
Discourage any new Druids from joining the raid or guild regardless of their build. Even one of them is competition for your uniqueness, spot on the healing meter, and most importantly — gear.
#
Remember to whine as much as possible. Oh. It’s spelled "wine". Oops.
#
Blog … constantly. As a Druid, you can blog about any one of the multiple aspects of your class (even if you only play one of them). Guilt your best friend, Valenna, into posting on his blog even though nothing ever happens to Rogues.


Rogue : http://www.resto4life.com/2008/03/31/phaelias-guide-to-roguery/

# Stab things. Or slash them. But don’t smash them. People who smash are PEE-VEE-PEEers, are considered inferior, and are not really cut out for raiding.
# Damage meters are your life and are almost as important as loot.
# Exclude Beastmaster Hunters from your damage meter output. They’re so easy to play, they should be considered hired NPCs. And exclude Mages who have the unfair advantage of AOE. Exclude Warlocks for being … Warlocks. If you ever find yourself not at the top of the damage meters, it is because Blizzard hates you and has designed the encounter to screw over Rogues. On the other hand, when you do top the damage meters, it is clearly due to your superior skill.
# Watch your threat. Watch it go higher and higher. Whee!!
# Never use Feint. If you absolutely have to, make sure everyone knows (a raid-wide announcement is appropriate). If, after using Feint, you end up below #1 on the damage meters, blame it on the tanks’ lack of aggro forcing you to waste valuable energy to Feint.
# If you die, it’s because Vanish is broken. If you pull aggro, it is because Vanish is broken. If you aren’t #1 on the damage meters … you guessed it. It’s because Vanish is broken.
# Running out of AOEs is for pansies and people who aren’t #1 on the damage meters.
# Don’t use poisons. They’re expensive and time-consuming to create. Just press your stabbing/slashing buttons harder; it’s almost the same thing.
# Complain about how Blind is an inferior crowd control to Cyclone. Ignore all other forms of crowd control at your disposal. Fervently insist that Gouge, Sap, Kidney Shot, and Cheap Shot are not forms of crowd control but merely roleplaying features appropriate to your class.
# Never, under any circumstances, use bandages, healthstones, or — Elune forbid — healing potions. Give a healer any room to slack off and you’ll be expected to maintain your own health indefinitely and wasting valuable seconds and global cooldowns that could instead be used to DPS.
# If you ever must violate #10, make sure everyone knows. Keep a running tally of how much money the healer owes you in expensive, life-saving consumables.
# YOU should get the battle rez. No one else. Not the MT healer, not the Mage responsible for crowd controlling the Square who’s about to break. Not even the other Druid who still has a battle rez. And if you know your Druid has a battle rez available, be sure to die before the DPS Warrior.
# Gloat over your ability to destroy X, Y, and/or Z class in PvP. Ignore the fact that it is merely a current design quirk of your spec/class/gear that allows you to do so. Bemoan the nerfing of this clearly (unadmittedly) overpowered ability.
# Playing DPS is HARD. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You are important! You are a beautiful and unique snowflake! Along the same lines, frequent AFKs are acceptable as long as you leave yourself on auto-attack and within range of the mob you’re stabbing (or on auto-follow).
# Grossly over-exaggerated battle pose emphasizing my Roguely prowessNever get rid of anything. You never know when you might need that level 65 quest reward with 4 more attack power (but otherwise vastly inferior stats) than what you’re currently wearing. Who says Druids need to be the only ones with four sets of armor in their banks?
# Your racial abilities are vastly inferior to those provided to Rogues of other races.
# It is acceptable for you to always be the person who aggros additional mobs when your group is moving through a dangerous area. This makes up for all the times you don’t aggro things while sapping.
# "I thought I was stealthed" is a perfectly valid excuse … for anything. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise; they aren’t Rogues and wouldn’t understand.
# Mana Tide doesn’t increase your standing on the damage meters. Windfury does. Therefore, a Shaman in your group is worth two in the raid.
# Lament every new Rogue that joins your raids, be they newly-leveled alternates of guildmates or an applicant to your guild. Simultaneously complain that your class is much less desirable than it was at release.
# If, in an upcoming Patch, changes are made to all other classes that would be considered nerfs, bemoan the fact that Blizzard just doesn’t care about Rogues.
# It is completely unfair that there is only one set of gear for you to roll on. You should at least be allowed to roll on Ret-Pally and Enhancement Shaman gear to make up for the fact you only get to roll on DPS-Rogue leather — of which there is none. There is not, nor will there ever be, an upgrade for you wherever you go. In fact, all your current items are probably just sidegrades from the gear you had at level 60.
# DPS Warriors should never have priority on weapons, rings, necklaces, trinkets, etc. because they can also tank. All you have is DPS! This goes double triple for Druids!
# Opening lockboxes is hardly a class-defining skill. The skill should either be made self-only, or the boxes that you unlock should become soulbound.
# Blog … but only occasionally. And only when you’re guilted into doing so by your best friend, Phaelia.
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MessagePosté le: 01/04/2008 12:40:19    Sujet du message: Publicité

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Kyssop
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MessagePosté le: 01/04/2008 13:00:23    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play Répondre en citant

Je crois qu'Ozÿ et Bloody on écrit une bonne partie de ces guides !! bigsmile

Ozy : "Remember to whine as much as possible. Oh. It’s spelled "wine". Oops. "

Bloody : "Playing DPS is HARD. Don’t let anyone tell you different. You are important! You are a beautiful and unique snowflake! Along the same lines, frequent AFKs are acceptable as long as you leave yourself on auto-attack and within range of the mob you’re stabbing (or on auto-follow). "

:lame: Mort de Rire
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Dindonsop
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MessagePosté le: 01/04/2008 14:17:01    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play Répondre en citant

Vous nous prenez vraiment pour des bilingues sérieux?? OMG !
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Illianathesop


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MessagePosté le: 01/04/2008 14:49:24    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play Répondre en citant

MDR bigsmile
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Ozymandia
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MessagePosté le: 02/04/2008 09:25:55    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play Répondre en citant

J'aime bien ^^
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MessagePosté le: 12/12/2017 21:00:14    Sujet du message: Guide du Rogue et du druide ! Easy play

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